de•ni•al The definition of DENIAL: As copied from The Merriam Webster dictionary on line:
“noun \di-ˈnī(-ə)l, dē-\
: a statement saying that something is not true or real : a statement in which someone denies something
psychology : a condition in which someone will not admit that something sad, painful, etc., is true or real
: the act of not allowing someone to have something
Full Definition of DENIAL
: refusal to satisfy a REQUEST or desire
a (1) : refusal to admit the truth or reality (as of a statement or charge) (2) : assertion that an allegation is false
b : refusal to acknowledge a person or a thing : DISAVOWAL
: the opposing by the defendant of an allegation of the opposite party in a lawsuit
: negation in logic
: a psychological DEFENSE MECHANISM in which confrontation with a personal problem or with reality is avoided by denying the existence of the problem or reality
— in denial
: refusing to admit the truth or reality of something unpleasant <a patient in denial about his health problems”
I may be wrong but I think it is something at one time or another so many of us have done this to themselves. I know I have. But I really have worked at trying to be as honest to myself as I can. When you look in the mirror and you feel like you are being honest and it is brought to your attention and you see denial, WOW! I am not going into the whole who, what, why and how scenario. Let’s just say that I have realized I have been denying something’s to myself. The what on this one is not the important part. It is the fact that I always thought I was pretty good about being honest with myself. And lo and behold someone pointed something to me and I was shocked. I did not even realize that I had been in denial or even suspected it. In this case scenario it was not serious but I robbed myself of enjoying part of the processes of achieving certain goals. I also set myself back on it because I didn’t even see past that wall of denial.
It has set a whole new river of thoughts crashing over the walls in my brain wondering and searching for what else I am denying. My first thoughts were what a waste of all that precious time. If it is something bad you can risk you health, your mind or your life. And why???? Well that is the question. Why do we have to deny things? Sometimes it something so painful your heart will break and this is for survival. Maybe sometimes it is shame or could be many other things. BUT I do believe at some point at least for myself I have to face it.
I don’t always like what I face but the mirror usually doesn’t lie! So now I have to make a new plan on this one and continue on. I will make sure I am with wide open eyes and wide open mind and heart as much as possible. I will question myself more to make sure I don’t go there again. I find it keeps me prisoner to the situation I am in denial about. To me denial is part of the devil’s amusement park and I don’t like those kinds of rides!